four.

And just like that I have a four year old.  Four years of being a parent.  A mom.  Four years of early (very early) mornings, sleepless nights, bath times, nighttime stories, cuddles, endless worry and fear and falling more and more in love with a little boy I've been so incredibly blessed with.  Wow.

A 4 year old is closer to a big kid than a baby.  And it's so apparent now more than ever.  His baby face is gone.  He's a (very) tall, 49 pound, strong, busy boy.  No longer a toddler but a full-on preschooler. He's asking big boy questions, playing with big boy toys, reading big boy books and chatting with big boy friends.

At 4 years Carter loves all things Peter Pan, pirates and Captain Hook. He cuddles up to his Peter Pan doll every night. He likes to read and is now finding a good balance between crazy, active boy and calm, focused learner. The book store, library and quiet time at home are some of his favorites. Berenstein Bear books are the best.  He loves to eat and man…can this kid eat!  I constantly hear requests for blueberry pancakes, bacon, strawberries and a big glass of milk for breakfast, lunch or dinner. He's curious. He needs to know how things work, why things happen, what something feels like and what it all means. His attention to detail is fascinating.  He notices details in books from complex illustrations, road signs, maps, another's facial reaction.  It all blows my mind how his amazing  brain works.

Carter, you are truly one of a kind.  You are the best at being you and I love you for that.  You are kind, generous, smart, strong, honest, sensitive, funny and brave. You are just like your Dad at times. You have such a genuine love for your friends and really think about how they feel.  You want others to be happy and will go to great lengths to make that happen. You are loud.  You are fast. You are imaginative.  I could listen to you play with your Peter Pan toys or Buzz/Woody figurines for hours.  The worlds you create for them are hilarious and awesome and so creative I am just amazed. You are cuddly and sweet and still love to show affection to me.  I hope that never changes. You have taught me how to have more patience, to slow down, to run faster, to laugh and be silly and to truly listen.  You are courageous, especially when trying new things.  Speech therapy has been quite the adventure the last 3 months and you have handled it better than me most days.  I see you trying so hard to focus and learn, while also needing to move and be heard in your little 3 year old body.  It has literally brought me to tears to see you try so hard, protect your emotions and find the very best fit for your learning style.  It wasn't easy, but we found it and I couldn't be happier for how far you've already come.

And now you are four!  I hope you keep having that Neverland mentality this year.  To learn, grow, play and dream but still remember that the most important thing is to just be a kid. And I'll just hang on for the ride.

And just to make this super sappy post even more cheesy, let's just add the little quote we both have learned to love this year:
"If ever there is tomorrow we're not together, there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is…even if we're apart, I'll always be with you."

Happy 4th Birthday Carter Thomas.  Love you more than you'll ever know!